Those days when you have too much time are also called injury-timeouts. Literally,… I am sitting at home the whole day hoping that tomorrow I will be healthy. How bad is that? Pfff… I am trying to put my mind to think about something else, I am going to do Yoga, or grab a coffee with friends, but deep down, my worries keep thundering. Whyyyyyy? I guess every elite athlete has been through those tough times, when you just don’t know when your body will recover. It is the uncertainty that keeps us awake at night and the fear of missing out on competing, whilst everyone else is working.

Since I am on the pro tour, I haven’t really been injured. I was lucky. The emphasis is on ‘was’. 😀 Okay, okay, I haven’t been practicing for a week now and I am getting better à “Holy crap, is she kidding me? A week?”. Yea, for me a week feels like a year right now.

IMG_4264 copyI am struggling to find anything to do with my life. I am working on my homepage, which will go online in the next couple of days btw, I have started to design business cards, I do yoga, I meet friends, watch Photoshop tutorials, but it just doesn’t fulfill me at the moment. You know that feeling? I gotta sweat people! I can’t fall asleep at night because I didn’t freaking do anything to make me tired. That feeling of exhaustion just isn’t there. A weird and new feeling. And then this happens…

Our minds wander from one thought the next, it is like a spiral. The funny thing is, that when you start the spiral on a negative thought, shi** goes down. “bye, bye day. It was nice to wake up this morning, but I can’t wait for the day to be over.” Yaaas, you all probably know that feeling. Often, I can’t find my way out of this negativity, but when I can, then I am getting over my ego and try to see the positive things in life and try to see what I can be thankful for. Even to have the smallest thing to be thankful for, is more than many others have. Keep that in mind!

My final state of mind: It feels freaking awesome to write down my feelings. Progress updates will follow.

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